Jeah, I watched Ryan Lochte’s new show!

Remember a few months ago, when I shared my excitement about Ryan Lochte’s new show?

Well, it premiered two days ago, and full disclosure, I’ve already watched the first episode twice. And yet, somehow, I can’t find time to clean the bathroom… huh. It’s a mystery.

Anyway, because the E! network is the E! network, they inexplicably named this show “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?,” playing off a Christian phrase that was popularized in the 90s, “What Would Jesus Do?”

I guess they used the phrase because people were genuinely like, “seriously, what would this idiot do?” but to me, it seems strange to name the show based on a Christianese phrase.

But that got me thinking… what if E! made other shows about Olympians based on Christian jargon?

I would watch every single one of them, like:

Amen, Brother (The Paul and Morgan Hamm Story)

Quiet Time with McKayla Maroney

Counting it all Joyner

Being In-TEN-tional with Nadia Comaneci

Saved! with Hope Solo (if the networks don’t go for that, the alternate title is “My Hope is Solo-y in God”)

Usain this is God’s Will?

In the Pool but Not of it with Natalie Coughlin

My Testimonique Moceanu

Causing me to Stumble with Alicia Sacramone

Laying it all out (on the floor) with Nastia Liukin

Traenor up a Child


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