I get by with a little help from Google

Actually, I get by with a LOT of help from Google. When I google things, I often wonder how people used to manage to live life without constantly, easily being able to find the answer to any question.

I’ve often thought to myself, I hope I don’t die before I have a chance to clear my Google search history, so I think I maybe have some weird attachment issues with Google.

Today I was thinking about how I often Google silly things, so I decided to check my recent search history, and I thought I’d make myself emotionally vulnerable by sharing some of those searches with you with explanations of why I searched for said things:

– “NBA wives”

Why did I search for this? Who knows. I was probably looking at Chris Paul or LeBron James’ wives’ intstagram feeds and wanted to learn more about their lives. 

– “Next restaurant”

Because I was watching a show about it, and it sounded so crazy and awesome. It’s a really fancy-schmancy restaurant in Chicago (yay!) that I will never go to (boo!) because it’s apparently impossible to get reservations. On the show, they served one of the courses in a baby bottle, which either means the chefs are incredibly creative, or that the people who are clamoring to get reservations are really stupid.

– “Charlotte Russe food”

Did you know that Charlotte Russe isn’t just this:

It’s also this?

I mean, it was a dessert before it was a store. So Google, you’re telling me that a women’s clothing store was named after a dessert? OK, I can get behind that. Oh, the things you learn while watching Downton Abbey.

– “Rugrats”

Because I was at a party and we were trying to remember the names of all the Rugrats babies. Also, I’m 26.

– “can you eat pink pork?”

Maybe that’s a dumb question, but the important thing to note here is that I was cooking.

– “times 140 best twitter feeds”

Because I’d heard that Richard Lawson was on the list! Woohoo! I liked him before he was famous, and by famous, I mean, on a list with 139 other people. And by before he was famous, I mean, he was writing for a pretty famous blog at that point.

– “boxers for sale chicago”

Because, ah:

and:

Ah! Why isn’t my apartment dog-friendly?? In the words of Bill Murray as Bob, “Gimme gimme I need I need!!!”

– “need to crack neck”

Yup, Google is my doctor. Who needs a real one?

– “buhscuse me maya rudolph”

Before you try to goolge it yourself, please be aware that there are ZERO relevant results. All I want is a clip of Maya Rudolph saying, “buhscuse me??” Is that too much to ask, internet?

– “excel combine text from two cells”

I took Excel 101 at some point in my past, but I like to think of my regular googling of Excel-related questions as Excel 102.

So there you have it. Some of the ridiculous things I’ve googled recently. Please note that I did leave off the most boring things… and I also left off the most embarrassing, because, really, I’m not going to make myself THAT vulnerable.

And with that, I recommend starting your Tuesday with another video I recently googled:

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