This calls for a “Really?!? with Seth and Amy” bit

Have you seen the movie Conspiracy Theory?

I never have, but I have an extremely vivid memory of when that movie came out in theaters in 1997. I was at my friend’s house and we were painting our nails and her parents went out to the movie, and we felt sooooo cool because we got to be home alone. And do all kinds of crazy things. Like paint our nails. So when I hear the phrase “conspiracy theory,” I literally envision myself sitting in their kitchen and painting my nails pink.

But I digress.

I love a good conspiracy theory.

I’m not saying I don’t think we landed on the moon in 1969… I’m just saying, I don’t necessarily think we did. I could be swayed either way, is all I’m saying. I’ve heard the conspiracy theories, and I appreciate them. Birthers, truthers, etc… bring it on. I may not agree with you, but I love hearing your crazy theories. And sometimes believing them.

Which brings us to today’s top story, about college football star Manti Te’o and his fake dead girlfriend.

I know basically nothing about college football, but even I knew all about Te’o and his girlfriend, who had been ill and passed away this past fall. And he didn’t go to the funeral, because she had said she wanted him to play his game, instead (which maybe should’ve raised some red flags?).

So it comes as a huge shock that, not only was the story fabricated, but this woman literally never existed. There are so many questions that will likely be answered in the coming days and weeks (and, whenever Te’o decides to fully come clean about what happened), but we do know that this guy is either really manipulative or really lonely – or maybe both.

But to me, the most shocking part of this story isn’t that someone made this woman up, or that Te’o either knew about it or fell victim to a long-term hoax – it’s that this story was widely reported by so many reputable news sources, and nobody bothered to fact-check anything for months. MONTHS!

I mean, think about it. Until now, nobody looked her up, verified her location or personal information, verified details surrounding her supposed car crash, or tried to speak with any of her family members. National news networks displayed her photo (which of course, we’ve now found out is some random woman whose connection may or may not prove to be integral to this story) during Notre Dame football games.

Guys, it’s 2013. HOW does this happen? I can’t wait to see how this story unfolds in the coming days, but I’m even more interested to find out why it took months for anyone to do a few basic fact-checks. And, of all news sources, how is Deadspin the one to break this story? Was ESPN in on it, too?? (see, told ya I love conspiracy theories…)

Crazy.

Crazy if Te’o knew about it and was playing along, and crazy if he was seriously and thoroughly punked.

It’s all just crazy.

If he did know about it all along, I’d like to blame it on football rather than him just being a complete idiot and/or manipulative sociopath. I’ll blame it on that crazy game where the players are just throwing away brain cells, when let’s be honest – they don’t have too many to spare. STOP HITTING EACH OTHER IN THE HEADS! IT’S BAD FOR YOU! When will football be over? How much longer does it have to exist?

As of now, we don’t have any further information about this situation, so I won’t speculate any further. But, I will direct you to another horrendous thing I read about football today.

Seriously, read it. I’ll give you a minute.

And now that you’re thoroughly disillusioned with football today, let’s transition to the amazingly low-impact sport of swimming. Missy Franklin (remember her?) has like 50 gold medals and is amazing, but still competes on her high school team. And she’s the cutest/greatest. She’ll restore your faith in high-profile athletes.

So there you have it! Lots of things to consider tonight, regarding the depravity of humans and the lengths we’ll go to deceive. We’re awful, aren’t we? But also, Missy Franklin is among us, so we can’t be that bad, right?

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