We interrupt this regularly scheduled post to freak out over the news that Princess Kate is, in fact, officially and “finally” pregnant! Let the royal pregnancy rumors end and the royal pregnancy begin!
For months tabloids, entertainment blogs, and even legitimate news outlets have speculated on the state of Kate’s uterus. No water toasts, microscopic tummy bumps, or hands placed over the general vicinity of her womb have gone unnoticed and unreported upon, but today it all proved to be more than just wishful thinking from a world fumbling aimlessly in post-Royal Wedding malaise.
This is coming just days after news of Kate’s haircut rocked us all. In case you’ve been living under a rock, she got sidebangs! Now, I’m as interested as the next girl in Kate’s hair, but it frustrates me that this development legitimizes all the speculation that her haircut was a sign of hormonal upheaval, or an attempt to hide her rounding facial features.
The real question is…are WE ready for a royal pregnancy? The obvious answer here is a resounding, unequivocal YES! I see no real downsides. Having already conquered the world with her clothes and hair, Kate now gets to blaze the trail for maternity fashion, baby clothes, and tasteful nursery decoration. And maybe, just maybe, her baby can unseat Suri Cruise as the queen bee of celebrity children.
Congratulations, Will and Kate, on your happy news. And also get better, Kate, as lost in all the excitement is the news that precipitated the announcement: she’s currently in the hospital with hyperemesis gravidarum, an acute morning sickness which requires supplementary hydration and nutrients. She’ll probably be in the hospital for a few days, where hopefully she’ll be able to keep herself occupied with something other than TV and trashy magazines that will undoubtedly be filled with wild speculation about the next nine or so months of her life.
And to the rest of us…in these weeks of Advent may we anticipate and remember the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with just a fraction of the excitement surrounding The Royal Fetus.
UPDATE: I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THIS! What if she has twins?! Who takes the throne?! Do they get to wear tiny matching tiaras/crowns???