The Bad Band Name Game story: when I was in sixth grade, I was “manager” of a band called The Busted Cans, comprised entirely of sixth grade boys. I think I may have made one poster and I brought a group of girls to their big gig at a Christian coffeehouse–these are the only vaguely managerial duties I ever carried out.

Without fail, every person I have ever told that story has laughed at the awfulness of the band name–The Busted Cans suggests a particular brand of teen, or in this case preteen, garage rock that is both hilarious and endearing in its cliched pretensions.

I tell you this because while browsing Spotify for new bands, I discovered that we may be in a golden age of Awful Band Names. I mean really, can YOU distinguish the real band names from the fake ones in the list below?

  • Coyote Bones
  • Kittens Ablaze
  • We All Have Hooks for Hands
  • Tiger! Shit! Tiger! Tiger!
  • Drunken Barn Dance
  • Baron von Luxxury
  • That’s Him! That’s the Guy!
  • Gingerbread Patriots
  • Bark Bark Bark
  • Mouthful of Bees
  • The Extra Lens
  • The Extra Glenns
  • Bunnygrunt
  • Pants Yell!
  • The Thyme Machine
  • Milky Wimpshake
  • The Pooh Sticks
  • Pushy Parents
  • Free Loan Investments
  • Lucky Lucky Pigeons
  • Sudden Weather Change
  • No and the Maybes
  • Dreamboat Money
  • I Only Date Models
  • Penguins Kill Polar Bears
  • Cancel the Astronauts!

Answers, and more, after the jump!


These are all real bands.

I kid you not. I thought about interspersing a few fake band names via the Band Name Generator, but none were as hilarious and ridiculous as the real band names I found on Spotify.

Actually, The Extra Glenns and Kittens Ablaze had potential to be my new favorite bands. Until I actually listened to them. Sometimes, I guess, a name can be so bad it comes back around to great. But the music has to back it up–see The Beatles for a prime example. When you think about fun. or Arcade Fire, you don’t think about how ridiculous their band names actually are. The music has reclaimed the name, which is now synonymous with their particular brands of indie pop/rock. The name is now indistinguishable from  the entity as a whole.

Maybe someday these bands will create something that changes the way we see this phrases which are now, at least to me, a collection of somewhat ridiculous words. (Maybe they already have–I can’t honestly say I’ve listened to every band on this list.)

But until they do…cancel the astronauts!


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